Post 794 - Discovering a New Alphabet

 After reading the first half of Finnegans Wake, I took fingers to keyboard and:

You'd flatter me fully, shatter me soully, tatter me totally, were ya t'ware a ring on that left hand 'yourn, m'lady fair and faerish ... but the stone be shown a shining while the losers be a whinin' lookin a-what they'd only know if they knew how to proper prep and prime a proud and goodly goddess, shor. 

Ninety five million people speak Telugu, so the above paragraph translates to:

 

Which then translated back to:

"Oh, beautiful and exquisite Queen! Had there been a ring upon your left hand, you would have lavished me with praise, shattering my soul into fragments and leaving it utterly scattered... Yet, as that gem sparkles brilliantly, the vanquished look on with murmurs—a truth known only to those who understand how to properly adorn and how to subdue a proud, noble goddess."

 

I think the calligraphy of Telugu is as interesting as what it says. 

Now on to the second half of the book! 

 

(c)MMXXVI (2026) Jim Middleton, The Animating Apothecary 

 

Post 740 - A Public Service Announcement

 

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT from the American Society Against Society

 

If you are suffering from a lamina-propriate, densely-infiltrating and acidic schiff-positive macrophages, with villus structures obliterated within severe lesions, you may have WHIPPEL’S DISEASE - not to be confused with ZENKER’S DIVERTICULUM, an out-pouching of the mucosa, posterior through the criciopharyngeal muscle, considered too pseudo to be a true diverticulum.

 

The Consolidated Centers for Disease Control have also issued an alert following an outbreak of MUNKE’S KINQUE HAIR SYNDROME, formerly HASHIMOTO’S STROMA, resulting in Delhi boils, Hanoi stir-fry, and Catnip abuse. It is an autoimmune disorder, so do not drive unless you have been properly vaccinated against Teslas. 

 

If you have any symptoms, or know of someone who has, REMAIN CALM, isolate yourself from children of mother-rearing age, and contact the young republican office nearest you. Bring cash, copper tubing, or in the case of WHIPPEL’S DISEASE, an extra case of unsqueezed toilet tissue.

 

You will be instructed to the market analyst who will be handing your case to help you to a safe and speedy recovery. This is all true. You read it on the internet.

 

 

Post 534 - Mixing Media from 1975 - "20 Organic Hits" gets a make-over

This is a commercial spoof I wrote to begin an organic chemistry lab instruction tape.  That tape now exists only as a decomposing fourth-generation dupe.  I salvaged the sound and trimmed out specific commercial and instructor references (the classic text "Morrison and Boyd" figured prominently) and then reconstructed the visuals.  

Again, I used my 10-year outmoded Flash CS5 because, well, because I actually own that software and don't have to pay a monthly Adobe tribute, nor do I need the internet in order to make a film.  I am such a luddite.  But it's sooooooooo much easier than doing the graphics and overlays "live" during the days of linear-only video edits!

It's almost 50 seconds!  Commercials were so much longer in the 70's!  These puns were considered groaners even then...

 This "restoration" is (c) 2023, MMCCIII, by Jim Middleton, The Animating Apothecary