(cc) 2023 ASIFA Central
(use with permission, please)
Here lies the residue of "The Animating Apothecary," a source of obscure ephemera and thought, created fresh(ish), but now reduced to howling into the wind, sketching in sand, and nibbling at the crustier extremes of an overbaked society. For those requiring Instagram experiences, there's also https://www.instagram.com/animating_apothecary/
And here's a link for an example!
Flute Solo in Sfumatoscope!
Well, it looks colorful, but it's not making much sense!
And one more test - for texture, this time:
Buster Keaton, appearing as a cop in Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle's "Coney Island," does Groucho before Groucho ever did Groucho...1917
This is a commercial spoof I wrote to begin an organic chemistry lab instruction tape. That tape now exists only as a decomposing fourth-generation dupe. I salvaged the sound and trimmed out specific commercial and instructor references (the classic text "Morrison and Boyd" figured prominently) and then reconstructed the visuals.
Again, I used my 10-year outmoded Flash CS5 because, well, because I actually own that software and don't have to pay a monthly Adobe tribute, nor do I need the internet in order to make a film. I am such a luddite. But it's sooooooooo much easier than doing the graphics and overlays "live" during the days of linear-only video edits!
It's almost 50 seconds! Commercials were so much longer in the 70's! The puns were considered groaners even then...
This "restoration" is (c) 2023, MMCCIII, by Jim Middleton, The Animating Apothecary
Aeons ago, I would watch the Admiral radio-phonograph go through its paces while playing a gray labeled Columbia LP that my parents had received when joining a record club. Mozart’s 40th.
The tone arm would lift, retreat to the right ever so slightly, there’d be an audible “click,” and the record would drop onto the musty turntable, much smaller than the record itself, and the tone arm would hover over the start of the record, and only when it landed onto the turning disk, would the sound happen. It was magic.
I stared at the record as the needle tracked through the first movement, watching it move closer and closer to the center. It was all in a single groove. The needle was pulling sound out of a plastic disk, and while leaning over the phonograph, I could feel the vibrations of the sound making a literal, visceral connection with my stomach.
I later leaned my face into the side of my metal lunch box, painted to look like a school bus, only packed with Disney characters, and when humming, I felt the vibration through the lunch box.
At recess, we took turns humming near the pipe that served to support the teeter-totter and tried to find how far away we could move and still feel the vibration.
My grandfather had a mechanical phonograph, run by a spring, along with very old records that his father had owned - and when I looked at the grooves, they were there, larger, rather dusty, but I figured grandfather could be a bit dusty, too, so that was a natural thing.
Then I went back and looked at the gray labeled LP, really looked into it, got out a tiny plastic magnifier from my mom’s sewing kit, and saw the waves in the grooves.
Sound was a wave.
The grooves held the sound.
The needle brought the sound back.
That night I dreamt I was a sound.
A groove on a record. A long line, wrapped counter-clockwise moving to the center. My entire being existed as that groove. The needle fell upon me, and I came to life, just as that voice came to life at my grandfather’s house. I could be heard! I could be experienced! I was alive!
The needle wore me away every time it played the record. I thought in the dream, I cannot let myself get played too often, unless I would be worn away.
I woke and read what I could understand - a lot of it was based on electronic theory, and my seven year-old brain wasn’t quite wired at that point - but I found that people, alive in the 1890s, made recordings of themselves, one-of-a-kind, and that, somewhere in museums, they could still be able to talk to us now.
And later, museums and libraries were getting rid of these recordings, just as casually as someone discarding a gum wrapper, and I was horrified.
But, being seven, with a ten cent weekly allowance, I couldn’t do a thing about it.
But I always remembered that ghostly sounding voice singing to me from nearly another century.
And so, whenever I could, starting at ten, when my weekly allowance was increased to a pair of quarters from the fireplace mantle, I would buy some of these cast-offs.
And I helped keep those grooves alive for just a bit more.
Each move since has resulted in some of these records being broken, and I mourn not the material loss, but the loss of an artifact of someone’s being.
So, whenever I can, I share, send, remaster, and perpetuate these voices, sounds, and music - if the music was intended to be a working experience, I try to keep its mission going, in a way to straddle the past to the present.
If the voices have a soft, distant, spooky sound to them, well, that’s the past talking to us.
that’s why I do this.
It keeps the Admiral happy.
Various takes as the project assembly progresses
Some more details:
Video adjustments (sound added):
Yes, the word "awful" did originally mean "full of awe" or "inspiring awe" when it was first used in the English language in the 14th century. It was derived from the Old Norse word "agi" which meant "terror" or "fright," and it was used to describe things that inspired fear and reverence, such as religious ceremonies or natural phenomena.
Over time, the meaning of the word shifted to its current usage to describe something that is extremely bad or unpleasant. This transition likely occurred because things that inspired fear and reverence could also be considered bad or unpleasant in certain contexts, and the negative connotations of the word gradually became more prominent.
No, there is no such word as "outegument" in the English language. "Integument" refers to a natural outer covering or layer, such as skin, scales, or bark. If you were to use "outegument" as an invented word, it could potentially refer to something that covers the outside of an integument, but it would not be a recognized term in any scientific or medical context.
It is possible to think of a callous as an "outegument" in the sense that it is a thickened and hardened layer of skin that forms in response to repeated friction, pressure, or irritation. However, this term is not commonly used in biology or medicine to refer to calluses or any other structures outside of the body's integumentary system.
The term "outegument" itself is not a widely recognized term in scientific literature or in everyday use. "Integument" is the term used to refer to the body's external covering, which includes the skin, hair, nails, and various glands. While the prefix "out-" is often used to indicate something that is outside or external, it is not typically used to create new terms in the context of the integumentary system.
Indeed! While the term "outegument" could technically apply to a callus as a thickened layer of skin on the outside of the body, it is not a commonly used term in English. Therefore, using it to describe a callus could be considered a rather esoteric use of language and may cause confusion or amusement
While the words "profusion" and "confusion" may have some similar-sounding syllables, they are not truly antonyms. "Profusion" refers to an abundance or excess of something, while "confusion" refers to a state of being mixed up, disordered, or unclear. So while it is possible to have a profusion of something without confusion, and vice versa, the two words are not truly opposite in meaning.
This 8 year old didn't have school today because of the weather. She was wondering if space-time encounters enough gravity, can time slow down so she can have a longer day off?
Well, according to Einstein's theory of general relativity, time can indeed slow down in the presence of strong gravity. This effect is known as time dilation, and it means that time passes more slowly in a region with a stronger gravitational field than it does in a region with a weaker gravitational field.
So in principle, if you were in a region of space with a very strong gravitational field, time would pass more slowly for you than it would for someone in a weaker gravitational field. However, the effect would be very small unless you were extremely close to a massive object like a black hole.
So unfortunately, you can't slow down time enough to make your day off longer just by encountering some gravity. But you can still enjoy your day off and make the most of the time you have!
She as also grown tired of the same yellow school bus picking her up each morning. What is the easiest way to make a yellow school bus green, besides with envy?
The easiest way to make a yellow school bus green would be to paint it green. However, if you want a more eco-friendly solution, you could look into using vinyl wraps or decals that are made from recycled materials and designed to be easily applied and removed from vehicles. This would allow you to change the color of the bus temporarily without damaging the paint underneath, and you can switch back to yellow when needed. Keep in mind that you may need to check with local authorities or the school district before making any changes to the color or appearance of a school bus.
School buses in the United States are not required to have seat belts or padded ceilings. However, some states and school districts have implemented their own requirements for seat belts on school buses. For example, as of 2021, Texas requires all school buses purchased on or after September 1, 2019 to have lap-shoulder belts for each passenger seat. California also has a law requiring three-point seat belts on school buses, but it has not yet been fully implemented due to funding issues.
Regarding padded ceilings, there are currently no federal regulations requiring them on school buses. However, some manufacturers offer padded ceilings as an optional safety feature.
It is true that warm air rises and cool air falls, so on a cold day, standing inside a bus might be warmer than sitting next to an open window or a cold surface. However, the temperature inside a school bus is usually regulated by a heating system, so it should be relatively comfortable regardless of where you sit. As for the onion sandwiches, perhaps she could ask Billy to refrain from bringing them on the bus or sit farther away from him to avoid the smell.
While it's true that hot air rises and cold air falls, it's unlikely that Billy's body heat alone would be enough to lift him off the ground like a hot air balloon. Hot air balloons work by heating up the air inside the balloon, which makes the air less dense and causes it to rise. Billy's body heat wouldn't be enough to heat up enough air to make him float.
As for the onion smell, the speed at which it spreads would depend on a number of factors, such as the air temperature, humidity, air circulation, and more. However, it's generally true that smells are more likely to spread in warmer environments, as the molecules move around more quickly at higher temperatures. So if Billy were, hypothetically, floating in a warm room, the onion smell might spread more quickly than in a colder room.
From A Conversation with CHAT GPT on an 8 Year Old’s Universe
26 February 2023
universe. While some of the ideas they come up with may not be scientifically accepted theories, it's still valuable for them to explore their imagination and curiosity.
However, it's also important to teach children about the scientific method, which is a systematic approach to understanding the natural world. Science is based on evidence and empirical observation, and scientific theories are constantly tested and refined based on new data and discoveries.
While it's possible that new discoveries could change our understanding of the universe and lead to new scientific theories, it's important to approach scientific questions with a healthy dose of skepticism and to rely on evidence-based theories and models when trying to understand the workings of the universe.
In short, while anything is possible in a child's imagination, scientific theories are based on evidence and are subject to ongoing testing and refinement. Encouraging children to explore their curiosity about the universe while also providing them with accurate scientific information will help them develop a strong foundation of scientific understanding.
Abbott and Costello kept many standard routines in vaudeville and burlesque alive through repeated repurposing of gags, and not being afraid to recycle them in their films and move them wholesale into the TV medium a few years later.
This one appears in at least two of A&C's movies, and I was able to trace it back to at least 1911 when it was recorded by the team of Montgomery and Stone, who marked their names to history by being the first Scarecrow and Tin Woodman in the stage version of "Wizard of Oz" in 1903.
Given the loose narrative of that early production, it would be easy to imaging the pair putting this brief exchange to work as a way to check the Scarecrow's lack of a brain.
I tossed this together for a program of theatrical turns that made their way through Battle Creek in the years before WWI. Others passing through the cereal city in those years would have included the Marx Brothers, W.C. Fields, and Sarah Bernhardt.
And, since I can't get enough out of annoying Chat GPT these days,
A man is forty, and his wife is 10. He's 4 times older than she is. They wait five years, and he's now 45, and his wife is 15. He's 3 times older than she is. They wait another 15 years, and he's 60, and his wife is 30. He's 2 times older than she is. The question is - how long do they have to wait until they're both the same age?
This is a classic math puzzle that involves using algebra to solve the problem. Let's use "x" to represent the number of years they need to wait until they are both the same age.
We know that the man is currently four times older than his wife, which means that:
40 = 4 * 10
We also know that after 5 years, he will be three times older than his wife, which means that:
45 = 3 * 15
And after another 15 years, he will be two times older than his wife:
60 = 2 * 30
Now, we can set up an equation using "x" as the number of years they need to wait until they are both the same age. If we add "x" years to the man's age, he will be the same age as his wife. This gives us the equation:
40 + x = 30 + x/2
Simplifying this equation, we get:
x/2 = 10
x = 20
Therefore, they need to wait for 20 years until they are both ...
The cursor after “both” began blinking - it blinked for 10 minutes, I had a chance to take out the recycling and returned to, “Error in creating a response.”
I said, “Try again”
This is a classic math puzzle that involves using algebra to solve for the unknown variable, which in this case is the number of years they need to wait until they are both the same age.
Let's represent the man's current age as x and his wife's current age as y. We can set up three equations based on the information given:
Equation 1: x = 4y - 30 (because he is 4 times older than her when he is 40 and she is 10)
Equation 2: x + 5 = 3(y + 5) (because he is 3 times older than her when he is 45 and she is 15)
Equation 3: x + 20 = 2(y + 20) (because he is 2 times older than her when he is 60 and she is 30)
We can simplify these equations and solve for x and y:
From Equation 1, we get y = (x + 30) / 4
From Equation 2, we get y = (x + 10) / 3 - 5/3
From Equation 3, we get y = (x + 40) / 2 - 20
Now we can set these three expressions for y equal to each other:
(x + 30) / 4 = (x + 10) / 3 - 5/3 = (x + 40) / 2 - 20
Simplifying this equation, we get:
3(x + 30) = 4(x + 10) - 20 = 2(x + 40)
Solving for x in each of these equations gives us:
x = 60
Therefore, the man and his wife will be the same age in 60 years.
And I replied: But in 60 years, the man will be 120, and his wife will be 90. That's not the same age.
Chat GPT replied: You are correct. I apologize for the error in my previous response. The answer I provided is not correct. In fact, it is not possible for the man and his wife to be the same age because the man is always older than his wife. We can see this by using the equations we set up in the previous response.
If we set y = x in the third equation, we get:
x + 20 = 2(x + 20)/2 - 20
Simplifying this equation gives us:
x + 20 = x + 20 - 20
This reduces to:
0 = 0
This means that the equation is always true, regardless of the value of x. Therefore, the man and his wife will never be the same age.
That still isn't a proof, but I don't need Chat GPT to start messing with the SmartTV downstairs.
The OIAF was in danger of collapsing, Roger Rabbit was being promoted as a directoral project for Chuck Jones, and activities were centered in Chicago...what a year!
Ten pages of light reading, but still read it in the light. Click on image to enlarge the page to prevent excessive squinting. It looks unprofessional.