Complications from Taking Things for Guinness

I like burnt toast. I made a crunchy meatloaf tonight. It has carbon. I am carbon based. If I ever burn my fingers, I may be my own lunch. I also had a bear tonight.  A beer. A bear would be silly. If I were a bear's lunch, I'd be pretty burned. And then I'd have dinner too. Maybe I'd invite the bear for a beer.  A Hamm's. A hemms. Ahem. Time to dream of bears. A bare dream. No that's something completely different.  That's a Python. A python in a bare dream with a beer and a bear. As long as I'm not bare with a bear and a beer.  That would be a bore.

I should write this down.

And later:

There once was a saucy mosquito

Who craved a juicy burrito

But when she lay in the mud

Con-templating blood,

She switched her desire to some Cheetos.

Sleep can only help so much....
(rewrite when awake to...)

Abuzz in jungled mosquitoes

Was an egg-borne pester of cheetas

She hummed o'er the swamp

All primed for a romp

But settled for tartare burritos



And, emerging from the fog:

A submental collection of weasels,
Oleagenous as freshly-lubed diesels,
Tied themselves into knots
On the subject of shots.
News report: they all died of the measles!

Talking Alone to the Phone on a Long, Long Drive....

Maybe an animation narration here...(begun in the mid 1980s, bits found on a micro cassette from that "era"):

Said Laura Palmetto McGregory Toon

“I just read a story that ended too soon!

Oh sure, it had gremlins and dragons unnumbered,

And even a princess in eternal slumber.

The problem’s the story just ended too soon!”
Said Laura Palmetto McGregory Toon

She went to her granny’s, found all the best books

She read them in crannies, she read them in nooks.

She read them with cookies piled high upon lace,

She read them so close she smeared ink on her face.

She read them at night, with her little flash lightie,

She read them all cuddled in a blue flannel nightie. 

A distraction appeared, as a canine named Beet

(But he'd answer to "Boo!" or "Come Here for a Treat!")

She taught him to sit, to roll over, and stay

But found he liked books in a very wrong way... 

She read tawdry romances - novels - adventures!

(And a medical essay on ugly old dentures).

She read about people from Kalamazoo

She read about hormones (and made a few, too). 

She planned a career filled with keyboards and easels,

And was vaccinated against getting three-day-old measles

She never found princes, nor flared dragons, either,

Just boy after boy all determined to tease her. 

She was married once, she was married twice:

The first one for love, the other for vice.

She had a sweet daughter, the usual way,

Who turned 17 and then sauntered away. 

So what was this story that caused all this strife?

It wasn’t a story, it was simply a life.

So while it lacked princes, it gave a good slumber

And moments of happiness too many to number. 

“The problem’s the story just ended too soon!”

Said Laura Palmetto McGregory Toon.

-or-

Margaret Millington MacDonald O'Foon

Tina O'Leherity Smith-Wallington Soon

Stacy McMacey Sans-Souci Muldoon

Racheal Fontunis FitzWalletter Moon

Vickie McLitchey Sympatti Racoon