Monday, January 02, 2023

Random Chatter

In a Wheeler and Woolsey film, "Cracked Nuts," they attempt a "Why A Duck" banter over a map where they point to where "General Diddy died."  "Diddy?" "Yes, he did."  That was it.     Always thought that was a general problem with W/W films - a promising premise, but it drops without development. 

So, seizing an opportunity to get this cramp out of my left hand, why not type up something:

Two guys talking while looking through file cabinets at a soon-to-be closed newspaper office.  

- Now there was a scandal in November, 1987...
- Scandals after Labor Day?
- Yep.  Happened at the bureau downtown.  Detective Diddy died.
- Diddy?
- Yes, he did.  So did his deputy.
- Detective Diddy had a deputy?  You don’t say.
- No, Me not Donsay.  That was his deputy.
- Detective Diddy had a deputy detective Donsay?
- Yep.  Don Donsay.
- And Diddy?
- Yeah, he did.
- No, Diddy’s first name.
- Also Don.  But he went by D-1.
- Dewan?
- No, Dee-one.  Wiped out the department.
- The Detective or the janitor?
- Gun fire, cross fire, it was mayhem in November.  Everyone died.
- All of ‘em?
- Yes, it was over her.
- What are you talking about?
- Their secretary - Olive M - they were having an affair.
- M as in Auntie Em?
- No, M as in Muckinfuss.  
- Oh come on, that’s a made up name.
- No - here’s the file.  Diddy, Muckinfuss, and Donsay.
- So D-one was a Don Juan.
- There was an editorial about that.
- Was there an investigation?
- You bet.  They had papers to sell.
- And there were conclusions?  For this Diddy, Muckinfuss, and Donsay scandal?
- Well, for the three of them the conclusion was that November.  For the rest , they decided from then on only to hire Native Americans.
- Better detectives, all that intuition.
- Yeah, and the names were easier.
- Who became the secretary?
- She’s still there.  Her name’s Brook.
- Brooke, that’s nice.
- No, just Brook - no e.  They call her Babs
- Like my Aunt Barbara - they call her Babs, too
- No like in babbling.  She won’t shut up.  Ah, here’s the file, and no paper cuts!  

They leave the file room, pass two Native American clerks.  One native turns to the other.
- Palefaces.  No imagination.
- And they all look alike.




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