Saturday, March 30, 2024

Post 661 - At the Station

 Int: The Ticket Office

ONE:  I can never read these train schedules. The last time I wound up in Duluth.

TWO:  I bet it’s hard to unwind after that.  

ONE:  And the food’s terrible on those cars.  

TWO:  It’s all in the timing.  Look, if you take an express train west, you can cross enough time zones so it hasn’t been cooked yet - that way it stays fresh.

ONE:  Is there a train that fast?

TWO:  Sure - I’ve missed dozens of them.

ONE:  I just need enough time to pack, repack, and still be able to lose my toothbrush.

TWO:  Well, you can always floss with some uncooked spaghetti.  It’ll be fresh.

ONE: Have you every tried to eat your weight in spaghetti?

TWO:  Naah, I end up wearing most of it.  But if you move fast enough, who needs clothes?

ONE:  I’m sorry, I missed something - is it that kind of a train?  

TWO:  No, but you can wear yesterday’s clothes and they won’t get dirty until tomorrow.

ONE:  And by the time you discover you need something, you’ve already used it.

TWO:  That's an idea - hey, everyone can just forget their luggage -- we’ll make a fortune with the lost and found!

ONE:  We can even get people back to the station before they know where they're were going.

TWO:  Sure - we can collect all that interest on their Daylight Savings.

ONE:  Or plan a party for tonight and have the hangover before we leave.

TWO:  Just think - we can put off to tomorrow what we put off for today, and still have two days left.

ONE: And you can finally achieve your life’s ambition - become the world’s fastest procrastinator.


(c) 2024 Jim Middleton, The Animating Apothecary


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