Saturday, January 16, 2021

I Seem to Annoy Some Folks, Imagine!

OK, Facebook is a sewer of misinformation and faux science, and folks who repost the fauxhood du jour without a lot of critical thinking.

This morning I came upon a local "private" group who had sent out a load of anti-windmill information with "unanswered questions" for any "township officials" considering adding this variety of green energy.

It ended with, "This isn't Texas and you aren't in Kansas!"

I felt it my obligation to respond, with all the sincere sobriety the posting deserved:


Plop one - two! - in my back yard RIGHT NOW. Just think of all the grocery money I'll save with all those free dead birds. I love flicker! It reminds me of television, and who doesn't love the secret messages sent in the flicker of televisions (it must be true! I heard it on Coast to Coast last night!) And every township official, each a science-based individuals, has lots of money for third party sound testing, and my, none of those third-party reviews would ever, ever, ever have an agenda. And decibel levels? Whoa, think of the money I can save on sleepytime sound machines! Yep, this isn't Tahiti, but I can sure feel the Guam!!!  

Somebody replied, but I don't think he understood my joking:

Jim Middleton I think you need a little bit more research on this subject. They have thousands over on the other side of the state and they not complaining about the royalty check every month.

So I felt it necessary to expound:

Yes, I love to be treated like royalty! And have extra poultry and enough electricity to run my 21 inch Zenith Chromacolor ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT. Bring on the windmills! Love 'em love 'em love 'em! Proof we're in the 21st century!

And, after a moment's thought, wrote another response:

And then our little town could have Don Quixote festivals! Tilting at windmills! Who can tilt the furthest? Or is it farthest? Or is it farthing? How many leaks to a farthing? Or is that a furlong? How long is my dog's fur in a headwind? And her tailwind redefines downwind. It's all gravity based. Not gravy based, although my dog LOVES gravy. Nom nom nom nom she says. You may quote me. (How many quotes to a gallon, by the way....never can keep that conversion straight, but that goes down the road of conversion therapy, and that's another can of words.)

I hit "enter" only to find that the original article had been deleted by the first poster.  And dawgunnit, I was on a roll....  

Well, it was fun while it lasted!  

Oh that internet!

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