Open Mike Night - for eventual lip synch animation project
Onstage - Reading from a phone book...finger moves down page -
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
“Oh, it’s left to right... got it...
A..A..A...
Analyst
Bottom
Crack
Derriere”
(Realization!)
“Oh, I get it - it’s alphabetical.”
(back to reading from phone book)
“Phone repair - phone repair... F,O, N...”
(hears someone in audience)
“P?”
“P repair?”
“P ... P ... P”
(Hears someone else)
“Urology?”
“OK, Yer .... Y....”
(gets corrected again)
“U? You? No? Me? Me-ology?”
(Frustrated and confused now)
“But it’s my phone... see?”
(produces a Pop Tart from his back pocket)
“Wait, this is a pop tart.”
(business while he examines the floppy plasticized foil.)
“You know, I remember when you had a choice - frosted or unfrosted. We were poor. Imagine, being too poor for frosted pop tars. We’d get the unfrosted, and then just smear some library paste on our tongue.”
(wistful)
“Ah memories - kindergarten in retention, in the corner, with my jar of library paste, dreaming of peanut butter...”
(Audience input)
“What? Oh, yeah, I was kicked in the head. Wait a minute... I was kicked in the head by a horse, horses have hooves, hooves make library paste... I was having my revenge on horses in kindergarten. Glad I worked that subconscious pressure out of my system early.”
(looks at his pop tart)
“And now I have a broken pop tart.” (Plays with floppy plastic foil pack again)
(An idea! Back to phone book)
“Broken pop tarts... B ...B ... B ...”
(stops)
“You know, there’s only one thing to do with a broken pop tart...” (eats half of it and hands out the other broken half to an audience member)
“Thank you and good night! I have to go find my phone now.”
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